What’s a Schema?
"Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms." [Stephen R. Covey. (2004). The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change.]
A schema is a lens through which we see the world—a set of beliefs or rules for living.
Everybody has them. We develop schemas early in life through our childhood experiences and upbringing. For example, you may have a rule like “I need to perform according to extremely high standards or I will receive punishment.” Or, “I need to keep my guard up or others will take advantage of me.” We might have developed these schemas from how our parents talked or because we had actual experiences in which caretakers, peers, or authority figures treated us these ways.
Schemas influence what we notice and pay attention to, how we interpret situations, and how we make sense of situations or information that could be interpreted a variety of ways. Often, we will automatically pay attention to information that confirms our schema and ignore or minimize information that contradicts it.
For example, if I have a schema that “I am defective”, I will tend to pay attention to the negative feedback I get as opposed to the positive. I will also be hyper-aware of my perceived “negative” traits rather than positive ones. If I feel I am unlovable, and someone at work doesn’t get my way of communicating right away I may interpret their response as proof that they reject me.
Why Should I Try to Become Aware of my Schemas?
Not all of our schemas are necessarily “bad” but they can become extremely problematic. Schemas are often rigid and resistant to change. (Largely, because we don’t even know they are there!) We have always seen the world this way and we continue to impose this view on the information, data, or experiences we have. We do this without even realizing it
For example, if we have a belief that people will abandon us, we may act in controlling or manipulative ways to stop them from doing this. These behaviors may turn the person off and, ironically, become a self-fulfilling prophecy wherein they won’t want to be around us. Then we interpret what they do as a confirmation of our world view.
What do you think your schemas are?
Some examples of maladaptive schemas are introduced by Young and Klosko in their book Reinventing Your Life. These are:
Abandonment:Important people in our lives will abandon us or let us down when we need them most.
Defectiveness:We are unworthy, unlovable, undeserving, flawed, and so on.
Mistrust: People can’t be trusted; that they have hidden agendas or will exploit us.
Failure:We can’t perform as well as other people or meet the standards we set for ourselves.
Entitlement:We are entitled to special treatment and don’t have to follow the rules that other people do.
If you are are curious about which schema might be negatively influencing your life you can take an online quiz about them here.
Overcoming our Negative Schemas
Schemas take a long time to change because they are deeply entrenched patterns of living or thinking about the world. The first steps in overcoming negative schemas are to identity what ours might be. Give them a label. Then we begin the work of stepping back and evaluating the evidence that confirms or disconfirms our beliefs. We need to be open to consider alternative interpretations and perspectives. One way to do this is to consult with trusted loved ones, a mental health counselor, and begin to try out new thoughts, behaviors and situations that our schema is making difficult to adopt.
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