Unwanted, intrusive thoughts can come in many shapes and sizes and for a variety of reasons. Some people find their fears and worries constantly swarm them like a cloud of gnats; some people’s minds ruminate for hours, rehashing the same anxieties over and over again; some experience unwanted flashbacks because of traumatic experiences; and, still others who suffer with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) can find it nearly impossible to let go of unwanted obsessive thoughts and compulsions.
When it comes to treating these intrusive thoughts the why often dictates the how. For example, what works for run-of-the-mill worries will not necessarily work with trauma-related flashbacks. Similarly, the intrusive thoughts that come from an OCD brain are qualitatively different than other types of ruminations. Having said that, let’s look at some ideas that are particularly helpful with combating OCD and see if there isn’t any principles that are generalizable to other situations as well.
A quick note about OCD...
Those with OCD have obsessive thoughts. By definition obsessions are negative thoughts that come and will not go away. These thoughts are caused because of a medical condition wherein the brain is sending us false messages. These thoughts could be about many things—fearing the death of a loved one, thoughts about germs and contamination, thoughts about needing order and counting, etc—it’s not necessarily the thought content that reveals OCD tendencies, rather it’s the frequency, consistency, and strength of the thought. Those with OCD feel compelled to perform compulsions—or rituals—in order to get a feeling of relief from their obsessive thoughts. When these compulsions sabatoge a person’s peace of mind, relationships, and ability to meet their life goals a diagnoses of OCD may be appropriate. However, rather than self-diagnosing ourself with OCD because we like our clothes a certain way it is probably best to meet with a professional to evaluate whether we truly have OCD or not. Remember, we all like things a certain way; but that doesn’t necessarily mean we have OCD.
Ok, back to the article....
In his book Brain Lock Jeffrey Schwartz outlines a self-treatment plan for those who suffer with OCD. Although Schwartz’s steps are intended to treat OCD specifically many have found the thought-stopping principles in his book useful for other types of unwanted thoughts as well.
These principles are:
Relable
Reattribute
Refocus
Revalue
Relabel– This means calling it (the thought) what it is. For someone with OCD this means distinguishing between reality and what we're feeling by saying things to ourself like "I am having a compulsive urge". For others it might be labeling a thought as a cognitive distortion, or a “self-critical” or “an anxious thought” rather than accepting it as “the truth”. “Ah, there I am catastrophizing again.”
Reattribute– Again, for someone with OCD we might say, “I am having the symptoms of a medical problem” or, “What is going on is related to the bio-chemical imbalance in my brain”. Schwartz repeatedly emphasizes the refrain: “It’s not me—It’s my OCD.”
Thoughts are not "us". They are not our identity. They come and go. We are not defined by them.
Many scientists believe that in people with OCD the part of the brain called the caudate nucleus is malfunctioning. Think of the caudate nucleus as the “gear shift” in the brain. It allows us to move from one activity to another getting a feeling of “completion”. In people with OCD the gear shift is “stuck”. This is probably why people with OCD have a “something is wrong” feeling that won’t go away.
Even if we don’t have OCD it may be helpful to acknowledge our thoughts can come from many different places. Many thoughts come to us because we are tired. Others come because of how our parents interacted with us while we were children. Others come because our brains have become wired to over-estimate threats and danger. Some come because of associations in our memory networks (consider how something you see during the day brings back a commercial or jingle you experienced as a child). Some come because of random bio-chemicals going off in our brain. And still others come because of what has been modeled to us by the friends we hang out with and/or the media we consume.
Refocus– This step is “where the rubber hits the road” (pun intended). This is where we manual shift the gears, retraining the brain to turn its attention to more constructive thoughts and behaviors. In this step we choose to engage in another thought or behavior. Scientists now know that behaviors we choose to engage in can literally re-wire, re-structure, and change our brains. By choosing to manually engage in skillful, conscious thought-stopping we can actually repair the gearbox in our brain!
This step will need to be handled differently depending on the actual cause of our unwanted thoughts. For some, these ideas may work:
Distract Yourself. Skillful distraction is like doing first-aid on ourselves when our thoughts and resulting feelings are getting the best of us in the moment.
Remember, sometimes the very act of trying to “push” your thought or feeling away can end up just strengthening the thought. So, don’t “push”. Don’t fight it. Just let the mind gently move to something else. For some ideas on how to use skillful distraction click here.
Reframe the Thought. Here we humbly acknowledge that not every thought that comes across the dashboard of our mind is inherently “true”. We take a more objective view of our thoughts. We see if there is any room to look at it differently. Can we take the time to see how others view the thought? Can we find ways to look at it differently? Can we look at it a little more rationally, a little more objectively? Is there room for making the thought more positive? More kind? More helpful in the end?
With someone with OCD, however, the bio-chemical urge is unusually strong and it may take a lot more effort to refocus. For OCD specifically these suggestions may be helpful:
Use a Timer. Set a timer on your phone for a reasonable period of time. If 15 minutes is too long to start off start with 5 minutes. The trick is to abstain from the thought, compulsion, or behavior for that period of time. You can even tell yourself that you can go back to that thought or behavior after the period of time if you would like. It’s the abstaining—the waiting it out by distracting yourself—that is re-programming the brain. Bit by bit start to stretch out the time to longer increments. Remember, each time you refocus you are repairing the gearbox—even if you ultimately go back to the thought or behavior.
Use a Journal. Just a quick recording of your successes in your phone will do. Keep track of each time you stretch yourself and are able to wait it out.
Revalue– In this last step we are learning to devalue the thoughts and feelings and see them for what they are. This comes as a natural result of doing the first 3 steps. We refuse to take our brain’s false messages at face value and, overtime, learn to move on from them. Said another way, we simply start to feel those thoughts and feelings “aren’t that important anymore.” They don’t deserve our time, attention, and energy.
Using The Impartial Spectator
The work of using these 4 steps is like accessing the “Impartial Spectator” described by 18th-century philosopher Adam Smith. Smith described the Impartial Spectator like a person inside us who we carry around at all times; a person aware of all our feelings, states, and circumstances. Once we make the effort to strengthen the Impartial Spectator's perspective, we can call up this Impartial Spectator at any time and literally watch ourselves in action. In other words, we can witness our own actions and feelings as someone not involved would—as a disinterested observer. Mindful meditation practices can help strengthen our Inpartial Spectator and can have a powerful affect on our mental and emotional health.
This act of noticing our thoughts as they come up helps us develop less reactivity to them and gain our own sense of power over them.
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