In the Marvel movie Dr. Strange a brilliant surgeon gets pulled into the world of the mystic arts after a devastating accident. While learning to harness magical powers in order to defend the world from evil he is particularly frustrated about his progress and overwhelmed with the work ahead of him.
Stephen: “Even if my fingers could do that, my hands would just be waving in the air. I mean, how do I get from here to there?”
The Ancient One: “How did you get to reattach severed nerves and put a human spine back together bone by bone?”
Stephen: “Study and practice. Years of it.”
The Ancient One: [Gives a shrug of acknowledgment].
“How do I get from here to there?”
We all have this question at times. And the answer? “Well, the same way we got to where we are now.” Chances are we are struggling because our brain has had plenty of practice doing things in unhelpful ways. Our brain has gotten really good at—and has had plenty of time and pratice—worrying, or putting ourselves down, or blaming, etc. In a weird way this should be motivating. If our brain can learn to do what it does now so effectively (worry, catastrophize, self-criticize, etc) then it can be retrained and re-wired with some study and practice—and do effectively what we want it to do!
It usually isn’t one big moment though. It usually isn’t learning “one great truth”. It usually isn’t finding a “silver bullet” that slays the inner enemy that rises up against us. It is almost always time and practice.
It is the daily, consistent practice of being mindful, or more self compassionate, or self-soothing, or whatever we are working on that brings the greatest gains. “What is my part?” we ask. Willingness. Effort. Patience. Getting back up when we fall down. More effort. More patience. Getting back up again....
When you are getting frustrated with your progress and feel that you will never get there remember that science, and philosophers, and poets, and great minds all observe the same hopeful truth—that the brain can change. And a growing body of encouraging research today demonstrates the reality of neuroplasticity—or the ability of the brain to change and rewire itself. More importantly, there are real, concrete things we can do to initiate these healing changes. Keep practicing. You will get there.
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