Why should I seek to manage my stress?
Unmanaged stress is linked to many medical problems (including heart disease, high blood pressure, chest, pain, irregular heartbeat, irritable bowel syndrome, and a host of others!). Some estimate that 75%--90% of all visits to primary care physicians are due to stress-related problems. People can overeat or be more attracted to unhealthy foods when under a lot of stress. Not managing stress affects sleep and makes it difficult for our bodies to restore themselves. In addition, people can become so accustomed to stress they become numb to it. In our day and age some have adapted to the daily pressure, irritations, and annoyances of life that it starts to seem “normal”. But this is not a healthy adaptation.
Managing Stress
It has been said:
“We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.”
This idea was captured in 1859 when the well-known spiritualist Cora L. V. Hatch delivered a lecture at the Cooper Institute while in a trance as reported in “The Cleveland Plain Dealer”.
“You could not prevent a thunderstorm, but you could use the electricity; you could not direct the wind, but you could trim your sail so as to propel your vessel as you pleased, not matter which way the wind blew.”
(1859 January 15, Daily Plain Dealer, Mrs. Cora L. V. Hatch on Spiritualism: The Law of God a Unit, Quote Page 2, Column 3, Cleveland, Ohio. (GenealogyBank)
“We cannot direct the wind…”
Perhaps part of stress management is about letting go of things we cannot control. Now, this isn’t to say that apathy, helplessness, or hopelessness is the answer; but, instead accepting the truth that:
“When we seek to control things we have no business controlling, we are controlled.” (Melody Beattie).
Therefore, one of the first steps in stress management is clearly identifying what is in our control and what is not.
We are reminded of the oft quoted “Serenity Prayer” from Alcoholics Anonymous:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.”
Start here before moving on. Take some time to ponder, write, and discuss with a trusted friend or professional about what the wind represents in your life. What can I control today? What is outside my control?
“Adjusting the Sails”
The phrase “adjusting the sails” suggests that harnessing the wind, rather than wrestling it leads to power. There are things we can do—ways to adjust parts of our life—that can bring us greater peace. (Although sitting on your desk cross-legged on your desk in the middle of the work day may not work for you!) Below are some ideas to consider about managing our stress. Take some time to consider whether any of these resonate with you.
Note: There have been entire libraries of books written on the topics listed below. There is no way to do an exhaustive treatment here of each of these suggestions. Rather use this as a starting place to ask yourself, “Which of these ideas might work for me? Which of these ideas would I like to learn more about and try?” As you consider these ideas it may help to meet with a professional to formulate a stress reduction plan that fits your personality and lifestyle.
Things to help you manage your stress:
Learn to relax and practice it.
Seek to improve communication.
Organize your time.
Get more in tune with your body.
Make “To Do” lists and prioritize.
Simplify. Throw stuff away.
Learn to say “no”.
Work on your tendency for procrastination.
Think in steps.
Learn to take breaks.
Learn to share a problem with a trusted person.
Eat healthily.
Sleep healthily.
Take a real vacation.
Leave work at work.
What do you mean by "Learning to Relax"?
Many people need help learning to relax. Think about the last time you felt relaxed, safe, and calm. If it has been a while there may be some work to do in this area. Some of these things—although seemingly quite simple—can help us relax and destress:
Talking a Walk.
Listening to Music.
Muscle Relaxation.
Mentally rehearsing.
Exercise.
Talking with a Friend.
Engage in a pleasurable activity.
Seeking Balance
Although a balanced life could be depicted many different ways (and perhaps there is no right way!) When we seek to live a more balanced life our stress tends to abate. Stress can be a direct result of imbalance. If for example someone is spending 98% of their time working and 2% on their physical health they may be experiencing undue stress.
As you look at the image here. Consider what percentage of time you devote to each category. Often our mind will guide us to an area that may require some more attention. Start small. Make little changes.
Lastly, Remember, Having Some Stress Just Means You Are Normal
Sometimes, if we are not careful, we can get the wrong idea about managing stress. We may feel that if we are feeling stress we are doing something wrong. Let us not confuse the natural discomfort of growth and development with an anxiety disorder.
We may assume that if we were doing everything “right” we would live calm, peaceful lives full of relaxation and zen-like peace. Obviously, this is not how life is. Even after all our efforts to “adjust our sails” we need to work on a certain amount of acceptance that we WILL have stress in life. True, sometimes our lifestyles and choices add unnecessary stress. But, even when we are living healthily, it’s important to realize that if we removed all stress from our life we would perhaps also remove some of our greatest opportunities for growth and development.
Unitarian Minister Jenkin Lloyd Jones wrote:
“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just like people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise.
Life is just like an old time rail journey…delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”
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