If our emotions can be compared to the weather—a natural part of life that comes and goes with a lot of variety—then it might help to picture our minds like a pool of water that is subject to the elements.
Here are some ideas to help people calm down when they find themselves outside their window of tolerance:
Use Your 5 Senses to Ground Yourself
Choose a sense and use it to explore something around you. (For example: listen to a piece of music as if for the first time. Try to notice nuances you never have before; pop a candy in your mouth and really focus on the taste; engage your eyes by studying a piece of art or beautiful piece of scenery, etc)
The key here is to experience something in the moment. Let your mind take a break from exploring the past or future negatively and just experience a piece of life as it is unfolding right in front of you.
Use Visualization Exercises
Because what we are experiencing in our mind affects our physiology many people benefit from visualization exercises. When people visualize a place or memory in which they previously felt relaxed or calm their body follows suit and begins to calm down as well.
Rediscover Your Values
Sometimes our current distress stems from being out of touch with our innate sense of self. Taking time to specifically remember what is most important to us can have a strengthening, re-centering affect on us.
Connect to Your Higher Power
What this means to each of us is different. However, in a broad sense, connecting to our higher power is about remembering that we we can access strength from a positive force that is bigger than ourselves.
Take a Time Out
Take a break. Put the assignment down. Set aside the housework for a bit. Take a couple days off work. Shifting gears and shifting pace and enjoying variety often helps us be that much more productive in the long run.
Live in the Present Moment
Many times we forget that there is nothing in our present proximity that can actually hurt us. Our distress comes from sadness in our past or anxiety about the future. Both of which are simply stories we have told ourselves and decided to believe. Mindful meditation helps us be present and less reactive to our experiences and environments.
Use Self-Encouragement (Self-talk)
Positive self talk is a skill we can develop. It is not about putting on “rose colored glasses” and seeing everyone in the world in a positive light. Instead, it is about noticing the voice in our head and how it regularly talks to us. Is the voice speaking truth? Is it kind and compassionate or harsh and critical? Is the voice helpful or harmful? We can learn to improve our self-talk.
Radical Acceptance
Great peace can come from learning to distinguish between things we can control and things we can’t. Much of our inner suffering comes from taking responsibility for things we have no business trying to control. Radical acceptance, as an attitude and practice, helps us develop the gift of serenity.
There are many ways we can calm our minds. Ultimately, we are masters of our inner world. We can learn to calm the emotional storms. We need not be at the mercy of our feelings and emotions. We need not be prisoner of our thoughts and intrusive ruminations.
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