When we begin processing your experience or memory I will use the phrase “What are you noticing now?” to do a simple check on what you are experiencing. Sometimes things will change and sometimes they won’t. There are no “supposed to’s” while processing. Just give as accurate feedback as you can as to whatever is happening, without judging whether it should be happening or not. Let whatever happens, happen. We will do the eye movements (or tones, or tapping) for a while, and then I’ll be checking in with you in between sets. And remember, you have a stop signal should you choose to use it.
During processing you will be invited to bring up an image (or worst part) of the experience, the negative thoughts you have about yourself in relation to the experience, and notice where you feel it in your body. At that point I will have you give dual attention to the experience and the bilateral stimulation.
Your job here is to just notice. Again, there are no “supposed to’s” as to what needs to happen. Let whatever happens, happen. All you need to do id become a spectator observing things from the moment we start the BLS. Those things can be thoughts, feelings, images, emotions, physical reactions, or maybe other things. These can relate to the event itself, but also to other things that seem to have no relationship to the event itself. Just notice what comes up, without trying to influence it and without asking yourself whether it's "going well" or not. The image of the event or experience is just the starting point of anything that can and may come up. Every once and a while, we will go back to the image to check how disturbing it still is to look at. Keep in mind that is pretty much impossible to do anything wrong, as long as you just follow what's there and what comes up. Many people find that regular mindful meditation can be a great compliment to EMDR processing and sharpens their ability to "just notice".
In addition, some people benefit from the following metaphor:
Imagine sitting on a moving train watching the scenery go by. You don’t choose or try to “will” certain things to happen. You just sit back and notice. There is a tree. The sky is cloudy. A cow. This is similar to processing with bilateral stimulation. You let go of feeling responsible for what comes up. An image. A memory. A sensation. An emotion. You have no more control of what comes up than you do of what goes by on a train ride. Curiosity, attention, and mindfulness will help but ultimately your brain knows what it needs and where it needs to go to arrive at healing.
If you'd like to watch a little video I made about how the practice of "mental noting" can compliment your EMDR therapy, click on the link below:
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