Resourcing is the term used in EMDR therapy when we consciously seek to enhance or build upon positive associations in our neural networks.
When working on “feeling safe when we are safe” our goal is to use imagery and past experience to relax the nervous system. Although we often use the word “safe”---words such as “peaceful”, “relaxed”, “secure”, or “calm” may be more appropriate to you.
Sometimes we are in fight or flight mode when we don’t need to be--when there is no actual threat. At those moments we can’t feel safe even when we are, indeed, safe.
When this happens we need to remind ourself and our body “it’s ok to feel safe when we are safe.”
In using the "Safe Calm Place" technique are goal is to consciously use the power of imagery to relax the nervous system.
There are several things we can do to help you access the feeling of safety inside you.
We can use resources you already use. What already works to relax you? Where in your life do you feel wholly yourself? When do you feel most like how you would like to feel? Is there music, particular memories, the feel of a particular blanket or stuffed animal that helps you feel positive, relaxing feelings? Many times we already have built in mechanisms to help us feel safe that we can use in session.
We can learn some specific relaxation skills. Many people benefit from learning to be mindful of their breath or to use other body-specific techniques to sooth themselves.
We can implement visualization exercises to help our mind access memories or experiences associated with pleasant feelings.
Some people benefit from using what is commonly called as a "Safe Calm Place" exercise. We can facilitate creating a safe, calm place resource by using the following prompt:
Imagine yourself in a beautiful, peaceful place. It could be somewhere you visited before or somewhere you have created in your imagination. Just let the place come to you. Picture a place where you feel safe and secure. Maybe you’ve had a place like this at some point in your life—some place to go and be quiet and reflective. Somewhere special and healing for you. Or it could be a place you’ve seen in a movie, read about, or just dreamed of. It could be a real place, a place you’ve heard of, or an imaginary place.
Let yourself explore and notice elements of that place as you bring it up in your mind now. Notice what it is like to be there—to listen, to look, to orient yourself in that place with all your senses. As you imagine yourself there find an area that feels particularly comfortable and safe and let yourself experience how that feels in your body. Let this be your safe, calm place. Let it feel powerful to you. A place to draw from the safety, peace, and power that emanates from that place.
We will work together to strengthen and enhance this place so you can go there when needed and draw strength from this imagery and how it affects your nervous system.
This is your place and you can make it anything you want.
At the end of the day we want to explore together what neural circuitry in your brain is associated with relaxation, calm, and safety. This is the ultimate goal of these exercises.
Homework:
In preparation for us building this resource together I invite you to think about an experience you have had, or a place you have been or imagine being at a place that feels calm and safe. (For example, perhaps being at the beach or in the mountains or doing an activity you enjoy). In preparation for us enhancing this resource together consider what image represents this place to you.
If you'd like to watch a short video I made to learn more about the process of "Resourcing"---or using positive memory networks to heal and improve our mental health, click the link below:
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